I've been doing considerable work on those first two paragraphs where the action begins - moving sentences around, replacing words, and rearranging phrases. I start with a vision of the scene in my head and try to make the words exactly match the picture. It's easy to say yep, got it. Then I go back, read it again, and think it's not quite there. After revising it for a while I still have words on paper.......
but I like it, like it, yes, I do
Oh, well, I like it, I like it, I like it
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